#SOL16: 100 Things I Will Miss

Rob and Max

These days when Rob rouses awake, he looks at me and says, "Kiss." I love this. Even though he no longer says my name, his body knows mine. In the midst of all of this kissing though, I began to think of all I would miss when Rob is gone.

What I Will Miss, Rob...

1. Kissing and loving you
2. Cuddling with you
3. Holding hands
4. Being touched and touching you
5. Watching you love Devon
6. The way you reach for my hand
7. Sitting in darkened movie theaters next to you
8. Going on impromptu holidays with you
9. Getting another dog with you
10. Showing you new art I made and loving your responses
11. Knowing you always have my back regardless of what the situation is and isn't
12. Holding me when I cry
13. Sharing our bed
14. Watching you comfort Devon
15. Buying you a book I just know you will love as a surprise
16. Making a good dinner for you
17. Reaching for your hand on take off and knowing that just holding hands will comfort me
18. Watching your son love you
19. Beginning and ending each new season with you
20. Taking walks together
21. Going to a coffee shop with you
22. Sitting on our side patio in spring and fall
23. Wearing one of your shirts that still smells of you
24. Being quiet with you
25. Traveling across country with you
26. Walking on the streets of a city with you
27. Drinking the sun tea you make
28. Talking through problems with you
29. Feeling high with you (drug free)
30. Hearing you talk quietly in the dark
31. Hearing you explain why the Giants have a chance to win it all at the beginning of each new season
32. Staying up late together in order to see an eclipse
33. Reading the Sunday paper with you
34. Hearing you read to me
35. Getting Back rubs and foot massages from you & giving them to you
36. Washing your hair
37. Swimming together
38. Raising Devon together
39. Talking photography with you
40. Going to independent book shops with you
41. Sharing Devon stories with you
42. Calling you to let you know I'm on my way home
43. Watching you walk through the front door
44. Texting you at lunch when I'm with a client & getting a surprise text from you
45. Making images of you
46. Making future plans together
47. Visiting friends together
48. Celebrating Christmas with you and our birthdays (we're born a day apart in November)
49. Sharing difficulties
50. Setting up the Christmas tree with you
51. Eating exotic foods with you
52. Listening to Beethoven 
53. Making art for you
54. Reading cards from you
55. Going for drives with you
56. Hearing you read aloud a new poem
57. The way you look me in the eyes
58. Yelling, "Rob, I'm home."
59. Entertaining my brothers at our home
60. Watching you laugh with our friends and son
61. Strategizing for work
62. Buying a retirement home together
63. Being surprised by you
64. Being next to you when Devon graduates high school and sharing that accomplishment
65. Being home together during a snowstorm or a Nor'easter
66. Making snow angels on an abandoned road in Vermont with you
67. Watching you make a fire in our fireplace and me just enjoying it
68. Sharing the first smell of fall with you
69. The way you so carefully fold my laundry
70. Having you to talk with when I'm concerned about Dev
71. Talking with you about nothing important
72. Theorizing with you
73. Sharing stories
74. Coming home to you
75. Your stew
76. Listening to your science explanations
77. Learning new words from you
78. Talking philosophy
79. Discovering new places together
80. Hearing you laugh
81. Watching you sleep
82. Being your navigator on road trips
83. Eating what you barbecue
84. Holding your hand while on car trips
85. Traveling in Ireland with you
86. Discussing work
87. Listening to your many different voices
88. Talking politics with you
89. Watching the Presidential election results
90. Your arm around my shoulders
91. Sharing early morning coffee and the silence of our home with you
92. Being introduced to new music and new authors by you
93. Looking into your eyes
94. Having you read and edit my writing and help me when I'm stuck
95. Taking classes together
96. Collaborating
97. Driving to Newark together in the mornings and late afternoons and all the talking and laughing we did 
98. Creating important work with you that matters for children
99. Coming down stairs in the morning and finding you at the table reading the Times
100. The confidence I feel just knowing you are on the planet with me