Today's slice of life grew out of a painting I did in a journal. I stared at it for a while and the story emerged. A year after Rob's death brings the knowledge that I am responsible for my own life. It isn't the acceptance of his death that I now struggle with. Rather it is the acceptance of the life that rests in my hands and what I am making of it.
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| from my art journal (digital remix - 3.22.17) |
My guess, if I may be so bold, is that "something I can't quite name" is life beyond Rob. That has got to be scary since it's the complete unknown, and who wouldn't be afraid. And you don't have with you any longer the person who helped you thus far. The painting is beautiful and haunting. In it I see your old self looking over your new self, waiting to see what will happen next. I love your art and your words and that you are using them to find your way.
ReplyDeleteI love your interpretation, Barbara. I'm still not quite sure what it is but do think it is necessary and I'll figure it out by living each day. Thanks for your encouragement.
Deletewow. very powerful. thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life! I love the artwork as well :) I wish I was born with the skill of painting\
ReplyDeletehannahshappenings.net (hannanabanana)
Thanks Hannah. BTW, your probably can paint. Like anything else, it takes practice.
DeleteI feel something new emerging in your recent writing, too, Mary Ann - like Barbara, I also see a symbolism in your painting.
ReplyDeleteMe too, Tara. I love how words precede understanding.
DeleteI've read and reread your post as I studied your haunting painting. I got to your words, "the flood waters have receded," and I knew your world like Noah's could not be the same; yet, there would be an unfamiliar but still miraculous world after your flood. Perhaps your image is leading you out of darkness? Perhaps your words are leading the way?
ReplyDeleteI love this: "...and I knew your world like Noah's could not be the same; yet, there would be an unfamiliar but still miraculous world after your flood." I did sense that something else was positive. And I do think that I am being led out of darkness. So appreciate your words.
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ReplyDeleteEven in moonlight,
we hold our fingers out,
hands outstretched,
waiting for the dove,
hopeful for the leaf or branch showing
us land, solid ground,
something to believe in again.
We await the flutter of wings,
and possibilities,
even in the fading light
of the night sky.
-- Kevin, inspired by yours
Wow, Kevin. Leaves me speechless. If I remember correctly, Noah sent the dove out after the raven and it came back with an olive branch.
DeleteOne thought I pull from the story is that among the many whirling around is one more day of living, Mary Ann. The painting in my eyes shows two people without definition, each about to color themselves in different ways. The story is movement, however hard. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThe story is movement and movement is life. There's that lovely line by Mark Strand ,I move/to keep things whole.
Deletehttps://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems-and-poets/poems/detail/47541
It is a jolt to hold onto joint dreams and the promise of a life together. The unknown is a bit scary, yet the possibilities are such that I get glimmers of opportunity, an endless chance to create a life for me. As I write this.....I am holding my breath. A planner.....it is the fear of the unknown, but I also have to learn to trust. There is so much going on emotionally, spiritually and then practically-it is a boatload to manage. Big hugs to you. BTW, the pairing of your art and words touches me deeply. Thank you.-Barbara
ReplyDeletehttp://travelinma.blogspot.com/2017/03/the-whisperer.html
It is a boatload to manage and it gets beyond me a lot of days. I think it is why I started to make art with my hands. The mess of it is soothing.
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