Coming Undone (M.A. Reilly, 2012) |
The holidays brings so many memories of Rob, triggered by a list that doesn't seem to end. Even though each hurts at the surprising moment of encounter, the memories that linger are also soothing. Here's 60 -- one for every year Rob lived.
- an ad for a Tibetan singing bowl
- reading the Sunday Times and not having you to read to me
- finding in my wallet an old comic Rob gave me
- using a hand warmer--knowing you introduced me to them
- the triangular box for an ornament that came in the mail
- everything in the attic I can't bear to bring down stairs for Christmas
- finding the menorah that Dev and Rob lit when Dev was a young child
- a man changing a flat tire on the side of the road
- finding the last message Rob left me on my phone
- latest issue of The Nation that arrived via the mail that still is addressed to Rob
- a solicitation call from the ACLU
- the spill of weak winter light through the back window
- a radio ad announcing immunotherapy
- an email from one of Rob's former students
- a photo from Loch Ness I found in a drawer
- raking leaves
- a song on the radio
- the smell of pine from the Christmas tree
- any navy blue Pacifica I pass on the road
- a container of miso soup
- a sign for Brooklyn Tech
- Mo Anam Cara
- the notes Rob was working on that are still on his desktop
- overhearing someone mention Grange (in Ireland)
- when I see someone writing with a fountain pen
- At Bed Bath and Beyond seeing a new wooden back brush like the one I bought for Rob every year
- thinking about lineage makes me think of the morning Rob and I spent at the Joyce House in Dublin
- realizing that an entire football season has happened and I only recently heard mention of the Giants
- every time I pull my car into the garage and Rob's car is no longer there
- June 16, 1904
- a jar with loose tea leaves
- West Rutland, VT
- seeing a print from that art studio on the Isle of Sky
- seeing wine from Montepulciano on a menu
- finding Rob's now expired passport in the dresser
- the photo of the man I took on Grafton Street in Dublin and realizing now that Rob would live only 8 years after I took it
- the roll of a chair on the wooden floor above
- winter sunsets
- planning Christmas dinner this year
- selecting gifts for Dev and not having you here to discuss what to buy and make for our son
- the smell of snow
- a man with a small braid in his hair
- holiday shopping in Warwick, NY
- a flannel shirt left on the sofa
- the mention of finger painting
- seeing the New York Times on a wooden table
- finding an independent bookshop and realizing that Rob isn't here for me to buy a gift
- the sound of an espresso machine
- every time I pass a place I photographed
- loose change
- the basket Rob always kept in the back of his car
- overhearing someone mention the Serenity Prayer
- the smell of a fire when I am out walking
- not signing Rob's name on the Christmas tags for Devon's gifts
- seeing someone wearing a Black Dog Cafe t-shirt
- the first snowfall
- preparing for a workshop and not having Rob to bounce off ideas
- realizing the 28th of this month will come and there is no anniversary now to celebrate
- putting on the heat for the car seat
- every lone cardinal
So many memories, each one evoking an entire story. This is a beautiful and poetic list. I wish you well.
ReplyDeleteThank you Cindy. The Triggers are constant as expected.
DeleteBeautiful and painful at the same time. Thank you for sharing it.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Laura for taking time to,read and respond. I appreciate each.
DeleteI hope that it helped to write them down, Mary Ann, perhaps to imagine the story that accompanied them. It's a lovely list with some that touch me too. Our memories are what create our lives, though sad to have them especially when they cannot repeat. Some of your list are those that will warm you more than once, I expect, like finding that old comic, a piece you have that will stay.
ReplyDeleteYes, I tucked that comic away again and imagine on a different day it will warm me again.
DeleteYour art is captivating.
ReplyDeleteYour list of triggers heart-moving.
Thank you Loralee.
DeleteI'm reading the list like a map ... the contours of memory ...
ReplyDeleteKevin
I will be lifting your line and reusing it. Lovely.
DeleteWhat a powerful, poignant list you have created. I suspect you will add many more to the list and hope that the comfort of these memories warms you.
ReplyDeleteYes, I add more in my mind each day.
DeleteStriking comes to mind. Bolt of lightning, too. The living side-by-side of the "full of loving beauty" shared. The enormity of the Love equaling the enormity of the Loss. And with all of that Love seems to prevail over all else. This piece of art is particularly moving for me. It draws me in. I want to go there and stay for awhile.
ReplyDeleteThank You for your fine example of living fully. Hugs. Gratitude.
Thank you Carol. Love (in)forms loss. And perhaps, loss (in)forms love as well.
DeleteKevin put it beautifully - your list is a map of your memory and heart...that lone cardinal at the end is so poignant.
ReplyDeleteThe lone cardinal has been with me since Rob died. He keeps showing up.
DeleteMary Ann, the memories are in the recesses of your heart. To me the lone cardinal signifies your guardian helping you walk the road. This thoughts belongs with one of your magnificent visuals: the spill of weak winter light through the back window. Peace be to you.
ReplyDelete