#SOL16: Silence

Pea Island, OBX (M.A. Reilly 2014)

I.

On the sea of everyday talk it's easy to lose track, to tuck a self far beneath the chatter. Here, navigation is less sure. In the absence of a self no position can be determined. Live this way for too long and abject certainty replaces discovery. The self we know is more portrait than flesh. A polaroid that fades over time.

Sorrow cuts a path through the noise of the day and opens us to silence. Too much talk leaves us unmoored--the shoreline a distant memory.

I promised myself after Rob's death that I would not fill my days with tedium, a barrage of meaningless activities. I promised Rob I would not hide away and I have learned these last six months that there are so many ways to hide. I promised my husband I would live brilliantly as he commanded in those last days when he was still lucid. What I could not know then was how important silence would be.  Learning to live with and even embrace the uncomfortableness of silence is to lose the self and in doing so--the permanency of love becomes known.

II.

Love changed me. How could it not? Across these 28 years, Rob's love showed me a self I did not know I was becoming. When Rob told me to live brilliantly, he also told me something I could not bear to write here before--to share publicly.

On that snowy February morning, we were alone in his hospital room after the oncologist told us the prognosis. Rob held my hands and in the strongest of voices said, "People are drawn to you. There's  an energy about you that draws people towards you." I must have looked down or looked away, because he jerked my hands and said, "Don't you dare hide away."

And in that moment, I felt the truth of his words. At the time I was so embarrassed to write what transpired, but now I know that I write what he taught me to love. The fallible is most beautiful.

III.

Recently Devon and I were driving and I asked him, "What are you most looking forward to this coming year?"

And without hesitation he said, "Making a difference."

My son's response resonated and I thought about the driving need to serve others that has arisen after Rob's death.  Who we are is shaped in relationship to other. Thomas Merton speaks about the co-specifying nature of love in the essay, "Love and Need: Is Love a Package or a Message?" He writes,

My true meaning and worth are shown to me not in my estimate of myself, but in the eyes of the one who loves me; and that one must love me as I am, with my faults and limitations, revealing to me the truth that these faults and limitations cannot destroy my worth in their eyes; and that I am therefore valuable as a person, in spite of my shortcomings, in spite of the imperfections of my exterior “package" (p.34). 

In the silence of these last six months, I have learned that love sustains. For 28 years Rob and I kept each other's counsel and his passing has opened spaces large enough for me to stand still, be silent, and listen. And though the tears and sorrow that have come alongside much of this silence frightens me, not feeling is more alarming. I knew my husband loved me, but it would be months after that brief conversation in early February when we first learned Rob would die and die soon that I began to understand the immense transforming nature of love. The distance between who I am and who I want to become is illuminated by the silence, defined by love.  My husband's lessons in love inspire me to be a better person--to do good in the world--and to measure success by kindness shown to others.

#SOL16: Brussels and Silence

One thing I learned watching my husband die is that the will to live is so very, very strong. Today finds me wondering what is it that allows a person to strap on explosives, walk into a crowded public space, and detonate it--all the while knowing your own death and the death of others are certain. I am thinking about this today in light of the terrorist violence that happened earlier in Brussels and how that contrasts so sharply with the months I watched Rob fight for his life.

 
To chose to live is an act of courage--an act we honor. To kill innocents is no act of martyrdom--it is nothing more than the act of a coward. 

According to The Guardian, "The Brussels government has invited the Belgian population to observe a minute of silence, tomorrow (Wednesday) at 12pm." For those of us living here on the East Coast of the United States that would be 7:00 a.m. EST tomorrow. 

The last gift Rob gave me were some essential oils and a diffuser. He completely surprised me by having them shipped to our home for Valentine's day. They arrived here about the same time Rob came home for hospice care--came home knowing he would die. 

Tomorrow morning a little before 7, I plan to pour some oil into the diffuser, light the tea candle, and sit quietly gathering the silence close and pray for peace and kindness to comfort those whose loved ones were murdered or injured in Brussels. 

Curated Bibliography on Whiteness, Silence and Teaching

Whiteness (M.A Reilly, 2012)

Curated Bibliography on Whiteness, Silence and Teaching

Carter, Stephanie Power. (2007). “Reading All that White Crazy Stuff:” Black Young Women Unpacking Whiteness in a High School British Literature Classroom.  Journal of Classroom Interaction, 41 (2),  42 - 54.

Abstract: The article uses sociolinguistic and ethnographic methods and Black feminist theory to explore the classroom interactions of Pam and Natonya, two Black young females, during one event in a required high school British literature classroom. The event is presented as a telling case to explore gendered and racial complexities facing young Black female students in a British literature class, dominated by literature written from a Eurocentric perspective, primarily by White males. The telling case was analyzed to explore how Whiteness functioned within the British literature curriculum and classroom interactions and how the two Black young women were negatively positioned as a result of classroom interactions around the curriculum. The analysis made visible how Pam and Natonya were constantly negotiating whiteness within the British Literature curriculum. Their experiences are important as they afford educators and educational researchers the opportunity to see some of the challenges faced by historically underrepresented students who may have been marginalized by Whiteness within the curriculum.

Castagno, Angelina E. (2008). “I Don’t Want to Hear That!”: Legitimating Whiteness through Silence in Schools. Anthropology & Education, 39 (3), 314-333.

Abstract: In this article, I examine the ways in which silences around race contribute to the maintenance and legitimation of Whiteness. Drawing on ethnographic data from two demographically different schools, I highlight patterns of racially coded language, teacher silence, silencing students’ race talk, and the conflating of culture with race, equality with equity, and difference with deficit. These silences and acts of silencing create and perpetuate an educational culture in which inequities are ignored, the status quo is maintained, and Whiteness is both protected and entrenched

Cochran-Smith, Marilyn. (2003). The Multiple Meanings of Multicultural Teacher Education: A Conceptual Framework. Teacher Education Quarterly, 7-26.

DeBlase, Gina. (2000). Missing Stories, Missing Lives: Urban Girls (Re)Constructing Race and Gender in the Literacy Classroom.  Paper presented at the Annual Meeting of the American Educational Research Association (New Orleans, LA, April 24-28, 2000).

Abstract: This study examined the ways in which eighth grade girls in an urban middle school constructed social identities through their experiences with literary texts. It focused on what sociocultural representations about female identity and gendered expectations emerged in the transactions in the literacy events these girls experienced in English class. It also examined what meanings girls made from these gendered representations and how girls from diverse racial and ethnic backgrounds took up and/or resisted the messages. Finally, the study investigated how the girls' transactions with literacy events in English class linked to their perceptions, insights, and understandings of the larger social order. Data were collected via observations, interviews with students and teachers, and collection of classroom artifacts. The seven study findings focused on ideologies of control, power, and cultural uniformity; new criticism and unexamined standpoints of social identity; constructing literature as removed from the lived social experience of girls' lives; silencing, sameness, and missed opportunities for dialogue; girls' lived experiences influencing their transactions with literature; literacy as a tool for socializing girls into culturally mainstream society; and fractured identities and colliding ideologies. Four implications for pedagogy and teacher education are listed.

García, Eugene; Arias, M. Beatriz, Harris, Nancy J. Murri and Carolina Serna. (2010). Developing Responsive Teachers: A Challenge for a Demographic Reality. Journal of Teacher Education 61(1-2) 132–142.

Abstract: In this article, the authors reflect on the preparation of teachers for English learners (ELs) and articulate the importance of enhancing teacher knowledge through contact and collaboration with diverse ethnolinguistic communities. The authors build on recent research on the preparation of teachers for cultural responsiveness and linguistic diversity and recommend a situated preparation within EL communities that fosters the development of teacher knowledge of the dynamics of language in children’s lives and communities. The authors begin their review by summarizing recent demographic developments for ELs. This section is followed by a brief review of the context of education for ELs. The authors summarize the most recent research on culturally and linguistically responsive teacher preparation and focus on a framework that includes developing teacher knowledge through contact, collaboration, and community.

Hayes, Cleveland, Juárez, Brenda & Veronica Escoffrey-Runnels. (2014). We Were There Too: Learning from Black Male Teachers in Mississippi about Successful Teaching of Black Students. Democracy & Education, 22 (1), Article 3.

from Yellow Umbrella

Abstract: Applying culturally relevant and social justice–oriented notions of teaching and learning and a critical race theory (CRT) analysis of teacher preparation in the United States, this study examines the oral life histories of two Black male teachers recognized for their successful teaching of Black students. These histories provide us with a venue for identifying thematic patterns across the two teachers' educational philosophies and pedagogical practices and for analyzing how these teachers' respective personal and professional experiences have influenced their individual and collective approaches to teaching and learning.

Hayes, Cleveland and Brenda Juárez. (2012). There Is No Culturally Responsive Teaching Spoken Here: A Critical Race Perspective.  Democracy & Education, 20 (1), 1-14.

Abstract: In this article, we are concerned with White racial domination as a process that occurs in teacher education and the ways it operates to hinder the preparation of teachers to effectively teach all students. Our purpose is to identify and highlight moments within processes of White racial domination when individuals and groups have and make choices to support rather than to challenge White supremacy. By highlighting and critically examining moments when White racial domination has been instantiated and recreated within our own experiences, we attempt to open up a venue for imagining and re-creating teacher education in ways that are not grounded in and dedicated to perpetuating White supremacy.

hooks, bell. (1991). Representing Whiteness in the Black Imagination. Cultural Studies, 338-346.

Hytten, Kathy and Amee Adkins. (2001). Thinking through a Pedagogy of Whiteness. Educational Theory, 51 (4) 433-450.

Kincheloe, Joe L. (1999). The Struggle to Define and Reinvent Whiteness: A Pedagogical Analysis. College Literature 26. 162-194.

Kincheloe, Joe and Shirley Steinberg. (1998) Addressing the Crisis of Whiteness: Reconfiguring White Identity in a Pedagogy of Whiteness. In White Reign: Deploying Whiteness in America. J. Kincheloe, S. Steinberg, N. Rodriguez, and R. Chennault, eds. pp. 3–30. New York: St. Martin’s Griffin.

Ladson-Billings, G. (2006). Yes, but how do we do it? In J. Landsman, & C. W. Lewis (Eds).
White teachers, diverse classrooms (pp. 29-42). Sterling: Stylus.

Leonardo, Zeus. (2002). The Souls of White Folk: critical pedagogy, whiteness studies, and
globalization discourse.  Race Ethnicity and Education, (5) 1, 29-50.

Abstract: At the turn of the 1900s, W. E. B. Du Bois argued that the problem of the color line was the twentieth century’s main challenge. The article argues that critical pedagogy beneŽfits from an intersectional understanding of whiteness studies and globalization discourse. Following Du Bois, it suggests that the problem of the twenty-Žfirst century is the global color line. As capitalism stretches across nations, its partnership with race relations also evolves into a formidable force. Appropriating concepts from globalization, the author deŽfines a global approach to race, and in particular whiteness, in order to argue that the problem of white racial privilege transcends the nation state. Using concepts such as multinationalism, fragmentation, and  flexibility, a critical pedagogy of whiteness promotes an expanded notion of race that includes global anti-racist struggles. Finally, the article concludes by suggesting that educators consider seriously the insights of the neo-abolitionist movement.

McIntosh, Peggy. (1988).  White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Backpack.

Rogers, Rebecca & Melissa Mosley. (2006). Racial literacy in a second-grade classroom: Critical race theory, whiteness studies, and literacy research. Reading Research Quarterly, 41 (4), 462-495.

Abstract: There is a pervasive silence in literacy research around matters of race, especially with both young people and white people. In this article we illustrate that young white children can and do talk about race, racism, and anti-racism within the context of the literacy curriculum. Using a reconstructed framework for analyzing "white talk," one that relies on literature in whiteness studies and critical race theory and draws on critical discourse analytic frameworks, we illustrate what talk around race sounds like for white second-grade students and their teachers. This research makes several contributions to the literature. We provide a detailed method for coding interactional data using critical discourse analysis and a lens from critical race theory and whiteness studies. We also illustrate the instability of racial-identity formation and the implications for teachers and students when race is addressed in primary classrooms. Ultimately, we argue that racial-literacy development, like other literate process in the classroom, must be guided.

Rothman, Joshua. (2014). The Origins of “Privilege”. The New Yorker.

Said, Edward. (1978). “Imaginative Geography and Its Representations: Orientalizing the Oriental.” In Orientalism, 49-72. New York: Vintage.

Villegas, Ana María Villegas and Tamara Lucas. (2002). Preparing Culturally Responsive Teachers: Rethinking the Curriculum. Journal of Teacher Education, 53 (1), 20-32.

Abstract: To successfully move the field of teacher education beyond the fragmented and superficial treatment of diversity that currently prevails, teacher educators must articulate a vision of teaching and learning in a diverse society and use that vision to systematically guide the infusion of multicultural issues throughout the preservice curriculum. A vision is offered of culturally responsive teachers that can serve as the starting point for conversations among teacher educators in this process. In this vision, culturally responsive teachers (a) are socioculturally conscious, (b) have affirming views of students from diverse backgrounds, (c) see themselves as responsible for and capable of bringing about change to make schools more equitable, (d) understand how learners construct knowledge and are capable of promoting knowledge construction, (e) know about the lives of their students, and (f) design instruction that builds on what their students already know while stretching them beyond the familiar.

Weilbacher, Gary. (2012). Standardization and Whiteness: One and the Same? Democracy & Education, 20 (2), 1-6.

Abstract: The article “There Is No Culturally Responsive Teaching Spoken Here: A Critical Race Perspective” by Cleveland Hayes and Brenda C. Juarez suggests that the current focus on meeting standards incorporates limited thoughtful discussions related to complex notions of diversity. Our response suggests a strong link between standardization and White dominance and that a focus on standards has helped to make White dominance and the discussion of race, class, gender, and language virtually invisible in teacher preparation.

Breaking Silence

This is an example of some thinking about Wordsworth's "The World Is Too Much
With Us," posted by a 3rd grade teacher. I covered table tops with paper so
  community knowledge might be built, shared.

I. Dissent

During this last week, at a professional learning session I was engaged in with administrators and teachers, a guest joined the group looking through the materials I would be using and stayed for about 20 minutes.

The guest said almost nothing.

The group and I were exploring the connections between figurative language and meaning. Specifically we were examining how assonance, consonance, alliteration, metaphor, and connotative/denotative language complemented, complicated and perhaps even sharpened our understanding of Wordsworth's "The World is Too Much With Us." It was a dynamic session--the type I had hoped for as I made my way to the school that morning. Our thinking could not be contained.

Later, I would learn that the guest who is employed in a position of power was concerned that I would be referencing an article in which I had written:

Screen capture from article,
"Opening Spaces of Possibility: The Teacher as Bricoleur,"
published by JAAL in 2009.

The concern as I would later be told (not by the guest, but by another who had been present) is that I would ever reference something critical of the Common Core State Standards (CCSS) in front of educators. Such a problem further called into question whether hiring my services for next year would be a good idea.

Because I authored the article, I rarely (if ever) use it with clients.  It's an intimate look at a teacher, Murray Krantzman, and his students and the beautiful work they compose as they compose themselves. It reveals (perhaps) more about me than I might want to share.  But with this group, I was willing as we have worked together for a few years and I am thinking of them like family.  We rarely seem to mention love & schooling these days, but really love is at the center of the work we do as teachers, yes?

I wanted to contextualize the poetry study we were doing which originated in Krantzman's classroom and as the article focused on him and his students, it seemed like a good idea. But here's the rub: the article predates the CCSS, so even if I wanted to be critical--it would have been the wrong article to bring.  The CCSS did not exist.

II.  Breaking Silence

All of this has me thinking, wondering about issues of power and rights and fear and democracies and teaching and learning. And children. It was just a moment, I tell myself--as if saying this could allow me a reason to say nothing here about this matter.  There's a considerable contract that feels a bit threatened.  But the very words once uttered (and only in my head) do nothing to soothe me.   As Seamus Heaney alludes to (here),"there's distance" in my head for this is a silence I could choke on.

Education leaders must engender thinking, not act to control teachers' and students' thoughts. To control thought is to do harm.

Doesn't a democracy require the possibility of dissent?  Are not public schools our committed method for teaching democracy?  Was it not Jefferson who said dissent was the highest form of patriotism?  It seems ironic that the very next day I would find myself back at the same school site, except this time I am learning alongside a group of history teachers and we are studying, very closely reading, Dr. King's speech - Beyond Vietnam: A Time to Break Silence.  Dr. King says,  "A time comes when silence is betrayal."

On that night at Riverside Church in April of 1967 my father sat in the audience. A year later to the day, I would see my father cry for the first time when Dr. King was assassinated.

My silence, even on this slight matter, would shame my father.

The Necessity of Silence and Empty Spaces

Being There (2012, M.A. Reilly)

                          Tomorrow
we shall have to think up signs,
sketch a landscape, fabricate a plan
on the double page
of day and paper.
Tomorrow, we shall have to invent,
once more,
the reality of the world.  

- Octavio Paz, "January First" 

(Translated by Elizabeth Bishop)

Wishing you silence and vast empty spaces, today.

MA

Imagining A to Z: H is for Hack the Music

H is for Hack the Music

To hack is to cut away; to clear.

Sometimes clearing away in order to experience what has been in front of you or alongside you, but nonetheless remained hidden, requires a bit of hacking. A bit of clearing. Oddly, clearing can also be achieved by being in a place that is full. It is inside a fullness that clarity is achieved.

There is a story Jonah Lehrer tells in Imagine about David Byrne and it reminded me of John Cage's understanding about traffic, music, and silence and how being full can lead to insight, inspiration.  I think it has something to do with triggering the right hemisphere.  Anyway, here's Lehrer writing about David Byrne:

While Byrne celebrates the pleasures of biking—“ The wind in your face, the exercise, the relaxation”— he bikes mostly for another reason: it lets him listen to the city. He describes cycling as a form of urban eavesdropping, a way to overhear the hum of the streets. “When you’re stuck in a car, it’s like you’re in a bubble,” Byrne says. “You can’t hear anything that’s happening outside. But when you’re on a bike, you can tap into the atmosphere. You can feel people doing their thing. It’s a kind of connection.” When I met Byrne outside his office loft in SoHo, on a cobblestone street filled with fancy clothing boutiques, he was carrying a muffin and a helmet; his shock of white hair was perfectly vertical. He led me inside, up three flights of stairs, and down a grim, industrial hallway. (The building used to be a sweatshop.) It was a warm day, and the windows of his studio were wide open— the sound of the street seeped in. “I like it a little noisy,” Byrne says. “It reminds me where I am.”

from David Byrne's Bicycle Diaries.

In this interview with John Cage, he helps us to uncover the relationship between traffic and silence.

John Cage. Écoute film from doralance on Vimeo.

Lehrer, Jonah (2012-03-19). Imagine: How Creativity Works (Kindle Locations 2431-2434). Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. Kindle Edition.

Note: In this series of post during the month of April, I am participating in the A to Z blogging challenge, with each day focusing on a letter.  In order to bring some cohesion to this process--releasing the imagination is the focus of each post.