Sunday, April 3, 2016

#SOL16: Bone Deep

A road (M.A. Reilly, 2010)

Being a widow is not special or unique. Just this year I am one in 800,000. That is the number of new widows and widowers annually according to the Institute of Medicine.

Death happens.
Husbands die.
Wives too.

And with each of those deaths, a part of those who loved them best dies too. 8 million people annually experience death of an immediate family member. Do knowing these facts relieve the pining, the desperate wanting, the guilt for living on, for coveting life?

There are so many different ways of knowing. Here in the States, we tend to rely on demonstrating our smartness by displaying bits of knowledge. We learn this first at school and I suspect it is a lesson that sticks. Such knowledge is safe. It is a territory already defined.

But there are things that can't be known ahead of experience. There the territory is wild, unplanned. Here you could wander for years. This is the place where grief is bone deep.


  1. And I suspect the commonality of the experience is its uniqueness to each. No two screams are the same.

  2. I am thinking of you every day, Mary Ann. These mysteries of death and grieving are utterly unique and singular, yet they unite us, the grieving in love and loss. Holding you and Devon in my heart. x