Tuesday, March 8, 2016

#SOL16: Rattle

Rob Teaching Dev How to Use the Camera in the Muir Woods

I know he is nearing the end as I listen to the insistent rattle.  Last night a nurse from Hospice came and helped Robyn and me resettle Rob after he awoke, choking on the congestion from his lungs. Rob's blood pressure has dropped so that the nurse could not read it. Now six hours later, there is just the insistent gurgle--almost as if this was some internal clock, ticking, ticking.

This man, my beautiful husband has suffered so the last 7 months and even though I cannot imagine any future that does not involve him, I also want him to find peace.

Too much suffering.

Too much.

When my mom died it was a too beautiful morning in May.
Now 16 years later, it is a too beautiful morning in March.


  1. He will live on through you and Dev, your love, the family, friends and all of us from afar who have never met but have been drawn into this intimate circle by your words and images. We too, can offer some kind of love and hope.

    1. I need to learn and accept that. For now I miss him, his corporeal self

  2. I feel your heart-wrenched words, Mary Ann. May there be a peace surrounding you and your family tonight.