Friday, March 4, 2016

#SOL16: 100 Things I Will Miss

Rob and Max

These days when Rob rouses awake, he looks at me and says, "Kiss." I love this. Even though he no longer says my name, his body knows mine. In the midst of all of this kissing though, I began to think of all I would miss when Rob is gone.

What I Will Miss, Rob...

  1. Kissing and loving you
  2. Cuddling with you
  3. Holding hands
  4. Being touched and touching you
  5. Watching you love Devon
  6. The way you reach for my hand
  7. Sitting in darkened movie theaters next to you
  8. Going on impromptu holidays with you
  9. Getting another dog with you
  10. Showing you new art I made and loving your responses
  11. Knowing you always have my back regardless of what the situation is and isn't
  12. Holding me when I cry
  13. Sharing our bed
  14. Watching you comfort Devon
  15. Buying you a book I just know you will love as a surprise
  16. Making a good dinner for you
  17. Reaching for your hand on take off and knowing that just holding hands will comfort me
  18. Watching your son love you
  19. Beginning and ending each new season with you
  20. Taking walks together
  21. Going to a coffee shop with you
  22. Sitting on our side patio in spring and fall
  23. Wearing one of your shirts that still smells of you
  24. Being quiet with you
  25. Traveling across country with you
  26. Walking on the streets of a city with you
  27. Drinking the sun tea you make
  28. Talking through problems with you
  29. Feeling high with you (drug free)
  30. Hearing you talk quietly in the dark
  31. Hearing you explain why the Giants have a chance to win it all at the beginning of each new season
  32. Staying up late together in order to see an eclipse
  33. Reading the Sunday paper with you
  34. Hearing you read to me
  35. Getting Back rubs and foot massages from you & giving them to you
  36. Washing your hair
  37. Swimming together
  38. Raising Devon together
  39. Talking photography with you
  40. Going to independent book shops with you
  41. Sharing Devon stories with you
  42. Calling you to let you know I'm on my way home
  43. Watching you walk through the front door
  44. Texting you at lunch when I'm with a client & getting a surprise text from you
  45. Making images of you
  46. Making future plans together
  47. Visiting friends together
  48. Celebrating Christmas with you and our birthdays (we're born a day apart in November)
  49. Sharing difficulties
  50. Setting up the Christmas tree with you
  51. Eating exotic foods with you
  52. Listening to Beethoven 
  53. Making art for you
  54. Reading cards from you
  55. Going for drives with you
  56. Hearing you read aloud a new poem
  57. The way you look me in the eyes
  58. Yelling, "Rob, I'm home."
  59. Entertaining my brothers at our home
  60. Watching you laugh with our friends and son
  61. Strategizing for work
  62. Buying a retirement home together
  63. Being surprised by you
  64. Being next to you when Devon graduates high school and sharing that accomplishment
  65. Being home together during a snowstorm or a Nor'easter
  66. Making snow angels on an abandoned road in Vermont with you
  67. Watching you make a fire in our fireplace and me just enjoying it
  68. Sharing the first smell of fall with you
  69. The way you so carefully fold my laundry
  70. Having you to talk with when I'm concerned about Dev
  71. Talking with you about nothing important
  72. Theorizing with you
  73. Sharing stories
  74. Coming home to you
  75. Your stew
  76. Listening to your science explanations
  77. Learning new words from you
  78. Talking philosophy
  79. Discovering new places together
  80. Hearing you laugh
  81. Watching you sleep
  82. Being your navigator on road trips
  83. Eating what you barbecue
  84. Holding your hand while on car trips
  85. Traveling in Ireland with you
  86. Discussing work
  87. Listening to your many different voices
  88. Talking politics with you
  89. Watching the Presidential election results
  90. Your arm around my shoulders
  91. Sharing early morning coffee and the silence of our home with you
  92. Being introduced to new music and new authors by you
  93. Looking into your eyes
  94. Having you read and edit my writing and help me when I'm stuck
  95. Taking classes together
  96. Collaborating
  97. Driving to Newark together in the mornings and late afternoons and all the talking and laughing we did 
  98. Creating important work with you that matters for children
  99. Coming down stairs in the morning and finding you at the table reading the Times
  100. The confidence I feel just knowing you are on the planet with me


  1. Such a wonderful love list. People, teenagers in particular, sometimes believe that love is all romance, hearts and flowers. Your list shows love is a whole lot more...

    1. And isn't that the case with love-- it's so much richer than hearts and flowers. So wonderfully ordinary. Thanks Deb

  2. Beautiful. A beautiful beautiful love.

  3. truly in the smallest of gestures, words and togetherness, your list rings of the richer life experiences that mean the most to hold dear ~ life's simple moments

    1. They are simple and ordinary moments, Jolie.

  4. As for #73, the stories will go on. A good story never really ends, does it!!

    1. Yes, it does that. I will miss the exchange of stories hat Rob and I shared daily.

  5. So much truth and beauty in these expressions of love, every one...

  6. So much truth and beauty in these expressions of love, every one...