#SOL16: Language

Toward the Light (M.A. Reilly, Massachusetts, 2014)

I.

It's later in the evening. The bedside lamp shines soft against the blinds. Sometimes I can almost imagine that I am with Rob before the diagnosis, before the end was closing in. I watch as he angles one arm above his head and notice that he looks deep in thought. How many times have I seen that look?

And so I am surprised when he asks, "What language do you speak here?"

Or at least that's what I think he says. Partial lines, single words, sounds--these comprise his speech. And even when I understand the phrases, the context is often obscure, unknown.  The single exception is in times of high stress, such as when he feels pain. Then, Rob re-finds our common language. For example, a few days ago a nurse was finishing a procedure on Rob and it hurt him.

"Mary Ann!" he yelled. "Mary Ann."

I was so caught up in soothing him and hating that he had any pain that I failed to notice what Jack noticed. Rob was lucid, cogent. I realized he was right. Rob, Jack, the nurse, and I were engaged in a conversation.

II.

A few hours later I watch as Rob takes the pencil-like sponge from my hand and uses it to simulate drawing a rectangle on the blanket that is covering him.

"Ten inches this way. Twelve inches that way. Ten more and another twelve. There. A screen. Now I can watch the game."

At a more cogent time, Rob told me to search for him at Star 50 after he dies. All of that day I thought about the language from Walt Whitman at the close of Song of Myself,

"...Failing to fetch me at first, keep encouraged,
Missing me one place, search another,
I stop somewhere waiting for you."

Very early this morning, Rob looked up at me and said, "I'm so glad you found me."   I look at him now asleep, his breathing a mixture of rapid shallow breaths and breaths with pauses so large you could park a universe. My husband is composing worlds to help him leave the place he is forgetting to get to a place he must soon go to.  A place, where he will wait for me.

Waving Goodbye

Snow is Fleeting (M.A Reilly, 2011)

Waving GoodbyeBy Gerald Stern

I wanted to know what it was like before we

had voices and before we had bare fingers and before we

had minds to move us through our actions

and tears to help us over our feelings,

so I drove my daughter through the snow to meet her friend

and filled her car with suitcases and hugged her

as an animal would, pressing my forehead against her,

walking in circles, moaning, touching her cheek,

and turned my head after them as an animal would,

watching helplessly as they drove over the ruts,

her smiling face and her small hand just visible

over the giant pillows and coat hangers

as they made their turn into the empty highway.

Gerald Stern, “Waving Goodbye” from This Time: New and Selected Poems. Copyright © 1979 by Gerald Stern. Reprinted with the permission of W. W. Norton & Company, Inc. This selection may not be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Children's Picture Books About Leaving and Loss

1. Akbarpour, Ahmad. (2009). Good Night, Commander. Illustrated by Morteza Zahedi. Translated by Helen Mixter & Shadi Eskandani. Toronto, ON: Groundwood Books.
2. Armand, Glenda. (2011). Love Twelve Miles Long. Illustrated by Colin Bootman. New York: Lee & Low.
3. Andrews, Jan. (1999). The Auction. Illustrated by Karen Reczuch. Toronto, ON: Groundwood Books.

   

   
   

4. Bley, Anette.(2007). And What Comes After a Thousand? La Jolla, CA: Kane Miller Books.
5. Campbell, Nicola I. (2008). Shin-chi's Canoe. Illustrated by Kim Lafave.Toronto, ON: Groundwood Books.
6. Campbell, Nicola I. (2005). Shi-shi-etko. Illustrated by Kim Lafave.Toronto, ON: Groundwood Books.
7. Croza, Laurel. (2010). I Know Here. Illustrated by Matt James. Toronto, ON: Groundwood Books.
8. dePaola, Tomie. (2000). Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs. New York: Puffin.
9. Drawson, Blair. (1997). Flying Dimitri. Toronto, ON: Groundwood Books.
10. Garay, Luis. (1997). The Long Road. Toronto, ON: Tundra Books
11. Garland, Sherry. (1997). The Lotus Seed.Illustrated by Tatsuro Kiuchi. New York: HMH Books.
12. Greenfield, Eloise. (2006). When The Horses Ride By: Children in the Time of War. Illustrated by Jan Spivey Gilchrist. New York: Lee & Low.



from When The Horses Ride By: Children in the Time of War. 

13. Isadora, Rachel. (1994). At the Crossroads. New York: HarperTrophy.
14. Jiménez, Francisco. (1998). La Mariposa. Illustrated by Simón Silva. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin. 
15. Johnson, Angela. (1995). The Leaving Morning. Illustrated by David Soman. Orlando, FL: Harcourt.
16. Landowne, Youme. (2004). Selavi, That is Life: A Haitian Story of Hope. El Paso, TX: Cinco Puntos Press.
17. Lipp, Frederick. (2001). The Caged Birds of Phnom Penh. Illustrated by Ronald Himler. New York: Holiday House.






18. Lofthouse, Liz. (2007). Ziba Came on a Boat. Illustrated by Robert Ingpen. La Jolla, CA: Kane Miller Books.
19. Loyie, Larry, and Constance Brissenden. (2002). As Long as the River Flow. Illustrated by Heather Holmund. Toronto, ON: Groundwood Books.
20. Olmos, Gabriela. (2013). I Dreamt...A Book About Hope. Illustrations by a variety of artists. Translated by Elisa Amado. Toronto, ON: Groundwood Books.






21. Parks, Frances. (2002). Good-Bye, 382 Shin Dang Dong. Washington D.C.: National Geographic Books.
22. Park, Frances and Ginger Park. (1998). My Freedom Trip: A Child’s Escape from North Korea. Illustrated by Debra Reid Jenkins. Honesdale, PA: Boyds Mill Press.
23. Ramirez, Antonio. (2010). Napi funda un pueblo/Napi Makes a Village. Illustrated by Domi. Toronto, ON: Groundwood Books.
24. Roberts-Davis, Tonya. (2004). We Need to Go to School: Voices from the Rugmark Children. Toronto, ON: Groundwood Press.
25. Russell, Barbara Timberlake. (2004). The Remembering Stone. Illustrated by Claire B. Cotts. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux.






26. Santiago, Chioro. (2002).  Home to Medicine Mountain. Illustrated by Judith Lowry. San Francisco, CA: Children’s Book Press.
27. Schimel, Lawrence. (2011). Let's Go See Papa. Illustrated by Alba Marina Rivera. Translated by Elisa Amado. Toronto, ON: Groundwood Books.
28. Shin, Sun Yung. (2004). Cooper’s Lesson. Illustrated by Kim Cogan. San Francisco, CA: Children’s Book Press. 
29. Sterling, Shirley (Salish Nation). (1992/1998). My Name is Seepeetza. Toronto, ON: Groundwood.
30. Tingle, Tim (Chocktaw). (2010). Saltypie: A Choctaw Journey from Darkness into Light. Illustrated by Karen Clarkson. El Paso, TX: Cinco Puntos Press.
31. Watson, Renee. (2010). A Place Where Hurricanes Happen. Illustrated by Shadra Strickland. New York: Random House.






32. Wallace, Ian. (2005). Mavis and Merna. Toronto, ON: Groundwood Books.
33. Williams, Mary. (2005). Brothers in Hope: The Story of the Lost Boys of Sudan. Illustrated by R. Gregory Christie. New York: Lee & Low.
34. Williams, Vera B. (2007). A Chair for My Mother. New York: Greenwillow.

35. 

    
    

    Winter, Jeannette. (2009). Nasreen's Secret School: A True Story from Afghanistan. New York: BeachLane Books.
36. Winter, Jeannette. (2005). The Librarian of Basra: 
37. A True Story from Iraq. Orlando, FL: Harcourt.
38. Winter, Jeanette. (2007). Angelina’s Island. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
39. Yang, Belle. (2004). Hannah is My Name. Cambridge, MA: Candlewick.
40. Yee, Paul. (1996). Ghost Train. Illustrated by Harvey Chan. Toronto, ON: Groundwood Books.
41. Yoo, Paula.  (2005).  Sixteen Years in Sixteen Seconds:  The Sammy Lee Story.  Illustrated by Dom Lee.  New York:  Lee & Low.