Embrace |
Learning to say, yes.
Learning to embrace the unknown.
Habits to build on in 2025.
On the Champs(M.A. Reilly, December, 2023)
The Champs at Night (December, 2023) |
A year ago I was in Paris, newly retired and on holiday. A year later I can say that I am learning how to be retired: how to balance ordinary days at home, family and friendships, consulting, events, and travel in mindful ways. I couldn’t be more grateful.
One thing that is clear is how routine matters. When I worked full time, work ate up so much time that I lived mostly by cramming the stuff that was critical into the dwindling hours of the weekend. Now, I can be more deliberate with how I live—a privilege for sure. This means I’m far more available to my daughter and enjoy our time together. I’m watching her come into adulthood and blossom. It’s not like we do big things, in fact it’s quite the opposite. Mostly it’s just conversation. I also can see family who are now at a distance. I have 94-year-old mother-in-law living 1300 miles away. I spent Thanksgiving with her and one of my brothers. I’ll be seeing her again in January to sort out her kitchen and again in February, March, and God-willing in May . She tells me that she is preparing for the end of life. She says this without morbidity and rather with certainty. This is necessary time.
I’m learning to understand consulting in some new ways. I’ve had clients since the 1990s. So you might be thinking what’s new to learn? Now, I can give each client the attention needed to see the results desired in consistent ways. I’m proud that the schools and districts I worked with last winter and spring saw substantial ELA gains and that the children, teachers, and admins who worked so hard to achieve those gains were joyful about the results. I love that I can dedicate time to designing, observing, modeling, praising, rethinking, and collaborating. That means that I get to spend far more time with children than I did my last few years of work. That’s joy personified.
What I’m now learning to do across all of these facets of living is to prioritized health. When I retired I went to Paris not knowing if the biopsies would come back as cancer. That’s sobering. As the surgeon told me, “You got damn lucky.”
So, all of these experiences have me newly thinking about how I understand time, limits, and commitments. In the coming months, I want to strengthen my practice of meditation, and finish the book I began writing 7 years ago. What this year has taught me is that neither will become a habit without repetition and commitment. Few things in life flourish without attention.
I was listening to Kate Bowler’s podcast yesterday, and she and Elizabeth Gilbert were discussing creativity. Gilbert discussing procrastination said,
“They won't make a thing because they are convinced that it won't make an impact. And so they stop before they begin because they're like, well, this already exists. Somebody already did this. Nobody wants this. My voice isn't needed. I don't have to, you know, and it's like, who gives a shit?… like, who literally cares what the impact is? I said it a million times to people. I'm like, you will be a different person at the end of this creative experience than you were at the beginning of it.”
That hit home.
Citation
From Everything Happens with Kate Bowler: Liz Gilbert: Why Your Creativity Matters, Dec 14, 2022
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/everything-happens-with-kate-bowler/id1341076079?i=1000624691338&r=1714
"But now, ah now, to learn from crises of anguish, advancing, grappling with direst fate and recoiling not."
"...Will we stroll dreaming of the lost America of love past blue automobiles in driveways, home to our silent cottage?Ah, dear father, graybeard, lonely old courage-teacher, what America did you have when Charon quit poling his ferry and you got out on a smoking bank and stood watching the boat disappear on the black waters of Lethe?"
"We can recognize reporters as the heroes of our time. Paying for newspaper subscriptions is a start. Too often, we profit from the reporting of others without rewarding them. Subscribe to media that offer investigative reporting, and post to social media items that are reported by a human. Support campaigns to tax social media companies to fund local reporting. Without solidarity, we fail to see others’ travails as like our own, and so we lose the ability to see ourselves. Choosing a way to express solidarity makes us freer—and helps us to resist frustration and demoralization. Deliberate in organized settings. Pick a civil society organization to join, and another (if you can afford it) to support financially. Try to listen. Remember that neighbors might have had worse luck. Help others vote. Listen to those whose families’ historical experiences are very different from your own. Find organizations that allow you to help others. If you have the means, pay off someone else’s medical debt." (p. 233).
Kamala Harris from 2024 |
Donald Trump from 2024, Dallas. |
I was listening to a pro Trump voter today who said he is voting for Trump because he knows “he will support me 200%. He will have my back.” I imagine he’s right. As a white conservative man he is likely safe in Trump country.
Many of us are unsafe under Trump.
I am so sad to say that Trump’s rhetoric will likely continue to cause harm to my only child. I wish this was hyperbole, but it is not. Trump’s incendiary rhetoric incites individuals and mobs to act with violence against people and institutions and he targets explicitly. We all saw this on January 6. Many of us experienced it more personally though. For example, his anti-Asian tirades when he was president caused all in my home grave concerns. For example, my daughter walking one afternoon in Oakland NJ during the Pandemic was called a f***ing Ch##k and told to go home to China. The white man who yelled this had a white wife and two children in the truck as he yelled this filth out the window. This violent rhetoric was unprompted. She was 17 and traumatized and it was Trump’s repeated rhetoric that normalized this too common behavior since he became president. Yes racists lived in the US before Trump. But his speech green lights this racist and misogynist behavior every time he demeans people of color l, women, and Trans-people.
So the gulf between the man I listened to today and me is very wide. As a voter I’m always concerned by those not insulated from violence the former president incite by their religion, wealth, orientation, gender and race. Such dimensions influence my vote. I wonder though if he could say the same.
1. Yuval Nosh Harari’s Nexus
Harari asks, “How is it that we have the most sophisticated information technology in history and we can no longer hold the conversation? We can no longer talk with each other.”
2. Richard Powers’ Playground (Booker Prize Finalist)
Full disclosure: each book he writes, I read. This will not be an exception and in what I have read I wonder if this will not be a return to his interest in climate.
3. Rachel Kushner’s Creation Lake (Booker Prize Finalist)
A friend is reading this now and via her enthusiastic recommendation, it’s now on my list. I hear it’s a spy story and of course, more.
4. Eavan Bolsnd’s Citizen Poet
I adored this Irish poet’s poetry and was so sad when she passed. This is a collection of essays. Cannot wait to dig in.
5. Ta-Nehisi Coates’ The Message
Three essays on writing and the need to disentangle ourselves with nationalism. I’ve enjoyed all of his former books like so many.
6. Haruki Murakami’s The City and Its Uncertain Walls
Like Powers, this is an author ✍️ I read. Kind of like an immediate default. I can’t wait to see where we travel. This was published in Japan in April. Will be published in English this December.
Lately, Donald Trump in rally remarks keeps mentioning communism attempting to align that ideology with Vice President Harris and Governor Walz. I have found this attempt at sleight of hand ironic given that a definition of communism is the absence of individual and societal freedom. The current iteration of the Republican Party, headed by Donald Trump, is the anti-freedom party as they have wildly supported grave restrictions of women to have bodily and economic freedom; to restrict citizens to have freedom to vote; and have unequivocally placed idolatry above country.
In Bobbie Kennedy’s Day of Affirmation speech that he gave on June 6, 1966 in Cape Town, South Africa, he said, “And the denial of freedom, in whatever name, only strengthens the very communism it claims to oppose.”
Millions this past week watched VP Harris accept the nomination to run for President of the United States. She stood below a banner declaring freedom to be the central commitment of her platform and that of the DNC. She warned citizens that our fundamental freedoms are at stake.
This November 5th, the vote you cast or fail to cast directly influences these freedoms:
Freedom to control the decisions about one’s body.
Freedom to vote.
Freedom to love who you love “openly and with pride.”
Freedom to express one’s gender without the fear of harm or death.
Freedom to live in peace—free from gun violence.
Freedom to read what you want without government ordering the removal of books from schools and libraries.
Freedom to live on a clean planet.
Donald Trump would have us believe that freedom is best served by electing an autocrat. He has repeatedly claimed he knows best and that only he can solve what ails us. This is the starting utterance of every autocracy.
This contest between freedom with its responsibilities, and autocracy with its gross limitations of citizens’ freedoms couldn’t be clearer.
#VoteBlueToSaveAmerica
#WomenForHarris
At the Paterson Falls (acrylic, ink, pencil, papers) |
Yesterday I photographed at the Paterson Falls. After all of the tumultuous storms we’ve been having, the falls were powerful, awe-inspiring. Being in Paterson, once again, had me remembering William Carlos Williams’ Paterson. I first read it in its entirety with Rob. Prior to that (like Joyce’s Ulysses) I read parts. Rob loved to read aloud and what I recall most about Paterson was hearing so much of the book. I went back to see if I could find a section that was in mind, but not recalled with fidelity.
No defeat is made up entirely of defeat—since the world it opens is always a place formerly unsuspected. A world lost, a world unsuspected, beckons to new places and no whiteness (lost) is so white as the memory of whiteness .
8 years ago today, Rob died. I will tell you that I never imagined what 8 years out might feel like. During those beginning years, placing one foot in front of the other took effort. The lines from Williams quoted here (from The Descent), remind me that in great loss, there is the possibility for new spaces to open up, in part because of the holes left by grief and loss, in part because the pulse to live is so very strong. At the falls yesterday, I thought of how some slim memories endure, while the greater majority of living and remembering the last 8 years flow with a force not too dissimilar to those falls after much rain.
Edges (Nome, Alaska) |
The days get muddled together when I recall. 8 years is a long time in many ways especially when I think of all the living that has happened from then to now. On this past Saturday, I would remember the hospital room, the quietness of the floor so early in the morning, the oncologist. I would recall all of this and more, almost to the minute.
5 a.m. and the interstate was more abandoned than not. A lone truck in the far right lane. It’s light cutting through the still darkness. By 6 a.m., I had coffee in hand for both of us and was making my way upstairs to the 3rd? or was it the 4th floor of the hospital? Three hours later the oncologist who was supposed to be away surprised us. I don’t recall his exact words, but he said something about consulting with his partners, a cat scan, spread, and how Rob who only a few weeks earlier had a prognosis of at least another year of life, was now terminal. Less than 4 weeks, he would be dead.
This past Saturday, I was sipping a second cup of coffee when the date hit me. February 10. 9 a.m. I had come home from a client the afternoon before suddenly feeling miserable, certain I had caught a bug. Sore throat, achy, headache behind the eyes. The body knows what consciousness cannot always grasp. I went to sleep early, waking Saturday morning and feeling off. And then I remembered. That is what grief is. Years can pass and in the space of an ordinary day, a sip of coffee, a date and time , and
the knees
fall out from under.
A few books authored by Black writers that I’m looking forward to reading this February, including a most anticipated book (James) that will be published March 19, 2024.
1. The Trees: A Novel by Percival Everett —I’m reading this now. A tough opening of a book that tells of a series of brutal murders that take place in Money Mississippi. At each crime scene there is a second body of a man who resembles Emmett Till.
Shortlisted for the 2022 Booker Prize
Winner of the 2022 Anisfield-Wolf Book Award
Finalist for the 2022 PEN/Jean Stein Book Award
Finalist for the 2023 Dublin Literary Award
Longlisted for the 2022 PEN/Faulkner Award for Fiction
2. James by Percival Everett (published in March, 2024)— Oh what I would have given to have this book all those years ago when I taught Huck Finn. This is an insightful retelling of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn — all told through the eyes of Jim, an enslaved man making a bid for freedom on the Mississippi alongside Mark Twain’s Huck. I always thought Jim was the moral center of the novel.
A most anticipated book of 2024.
3. Let Us Descend by Jesmyn Ward — What now feels like a few years ago, one of my book groups went on a reading spree of Ward’s books. Her fiction is often brutal and somehow at the same time compelling—connecting the past to the present. Her novels are intriguing and so language-rich. This is a story of enslavement as told by a teenage girl, Annis.
4. Friday Black by Nana Kwame Adejei-Brenyah —a debut story collection about growing up Black in the USA.
5. Survival Math: Notes on an All America Family by Mitchell S. Jackson—This summer I spent nearly a week in Portland, Oregon and this account of what Jackson terms, the Other America, surely resonates. The title of the work comes from the calculations Jackson and his family made to survive.
6. Spectral Evidence: Poems by Gregory Pardo — One aspect of this book of poems that caught my interest was the poetic focus on MOVE, the militant separatist group that was bombed by Philadelphia government in 1985. Last year, a painting of mine was selected to be the cover to a memoir by one of the few survivors of that bombing. The narrative biography, Osage Avenue: Coming of Age in the Summer of MOVE by Tony Gervasi was riveting, tragic, especially given the immense loss he suffers. I’m curious as to how this history translates to poetry.
Article 4th graders were Writing About |
This is a recipe for failure. What is missing? The key term has not been defined or explained. I cannot overstate how critical this is. If children fail to define the term they are writing about, often what follows is a mess.
Strategy in Action
I had the opportunity last week to observe learning in a great 4th grade classroom in NJ. Students were engaged in writing an essay about how Yolanda Renee King is an activist. The teacher smartly provided early feedback to her students saying that they had not yet included evidence of what Ms. King had done and instead focused their writing on her grandfather, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. As I read students’ drafts, I noticed that all had neglected the critical step of defining the topic, in this case what an activist is. I mentioned this to the teacher and she regathered her students for some quick instruction.
Seated in a circle, I asked the students to explain what an activist was. As the term was defined in the article they had read, students with some guidance were able to paraphrase quickly. Within a minute or two, we determined what an activist was and how Ms. King was an activist. I then asked them to insert that explanation of what an activist is into their essays—as the second sentence. We listened to a few students who read their revisions. Last, we discussed how this explanation of the key term now provided a guide for everything else that would follow. Their essays now could explain how Ms. King campaigned for change (environmental and gun control) in order to make the world a better place.
Focus on Thinking First
Without a definition to guide the composing, students often make a lot of syntax (sentence) errors and teachers spend considerable instructional time helping students correct those errors. What needs to be attended to initially is the students’ reasoning once a definition of the key term has happened. In this 4th grade classroom, because students had clarity about the topic, writing quality improved. Once clarity occurred, syntax errors were reduced as students focused on explaining how Ms. King was an activist by using the definition to guide the evidence they selected and their explanation. They made less errors simply because they understood what their argument was.
Instead of blindly following a formula that too often leads to error making, students stated an idea and expanded on it. What a difference this brief shift in instruction made in the students’ confidence and performance.
Developing reading stamina helps third graders comprehend grade level text. Reading stamina is the ability to read increasingly longer texts with ease. It develops through consistent (daily) practice. Building to 30-minutes of sustained reading daily ought to be a goal both schools and parents champion. Parents and teachers can invite children to chart the number of minutes of reading they do each day until they build up to and then maintain a minimum of 30-minutes. This practice of charting motivates and allows children, parents, and teachers to track progress. |
1. Readers fall into the next book quickly due to familiarity. This helps readers finish books.
2. Readers tend to want to keep reading to see what happens next in the series.
3. All of this practicing builds reading stamina, develops vocabulary, and increases confidence.
Here are links to series books: https://www.whatdowedoallday.com/multicultural-early-chapter-books-for-kids/
Measuring Reading Stamina
How is my child doing? This is often a question parents have. We want to know if our child is making progress and reading at grade level. Oral reading fluency tests quickly help a parent, a child, and the teacher answer that important question! Words correct per minute has been shown, in both theoretical and empirical research, to serve as an accurate and powerful indicator of overall reading competence, especially in its strong correlation with comprehension. - Hasbrouck & Tindal (2006).
An easy and quick way to formally assess reading is to take a timed sample of a child reading a grade level passage and compare the performance (number of words read correctly per minute) with published Oral Reading Fluency Target (ORF) Rate Norms (Hasbrouck & Tindal, 1992). Grade level norms are listed below in a chart.