#Learning2BRetired

The Champs at Night (December, 2023)

A year ago I was in Paris, newly retired and on holiday. A year later I can say that I am learning how to be retired: how to balance ordinary days at home, family and friendships, consulting, events, and travel in mindful ways. I couldn’t be more grateful. 

One thing that is clear is how routine matters. When I worked full time, work ate up so much time that I lived mostly by cramming the stuff that was critical into the dwindling hours of the weekend. Now, I can be more deliberate with how I live—a privilege for sure. This means I’m far more available to my daughter and enjoy our time together. I’m watching her come into adulthood and blossom. It’s not like we do big things, in fact it’s quite the opposite. Mostly it’s just conversation. I also can see family who are now at a distance. I have 94-year-old mother-in-law living 1300 miles away. I spent Thanksgiving with her and one of my brothers. I’ll be seeing her again in January to sort out her kitchen and again in February, March, and God-willing in May . She tells me that she is preparing for the end of life. She says this without morbidity and rather with certainty. This is necessary time.

I’m learning to understand consulting in some new ways. I’ve had clients since the 1990s. So you might be thinking what’s new to learn? Now, I can give each client the attention needed to see the results desired in consistent ways. I’m proud that the schools and districts I worked with last winter and spring  saw substantial ELA gains and that the children, teachers, and admins who worked so hard to achieve those gains were joyful about the results. I love that I can dedicate time to designing, observing, modeling, praising, rethinking, and collaborating. That means that I get to spend far more time with children than I did my last few years of work. That’s joy personified. 

What I’m now learning to do across all of these facets of living is to prioritized health. When I retired I went to Paris not knowing if the biopsies would come back as cancer. That’s sobering. As the surgeon told me, “You got damn lucky.”

So, all of these experiences have me newly thinking about  how I understand time, limits, and commitments. In the coming months, I want to strengthen my practice of meditation, and finish the book I began writing 7 years ago. What this year has taught me is that neither will become a habit without repetition and commitment. Few things in life flourish without attention. 

I was listening to Kate Bowler’s podcast yesterday, and she and Elizabeth Gilbert were discussing creativity. Gilbert discussing procrastination said, 

“They won't make a thing because they are convinced that it won't make an impact. And so they stop before they begin because they're like, well, this already exists. Somebody already did this. Nobody wants this. My voice isn't needed. I don't have to, you know, and it's like, who gives a shit?… like, who literally cares what the impact is? I said it a million times to people. I'm like, you will be a different person at the end of this creative experience than you were at the beginning of it.”

That hit home. 

Citation 

From Everything Happens with Kate Bowler: Liz Gilbert: Why Your Creativity Matters, Dec 14, 2022

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/everything-happens-with-kate-bowler/id1341076079?i=1000624691338&r=1714