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| From my art journal (2017) |
I.
A month after my son turned 17, his father died. Even now, 14 months later it still feels surreal to write the word, died. I wondered then how my son would navigate through life without his father. Would he be okay? What would this loss do to him? How might it shape him? A friend told me that Rob and I had filled Devon with so much love that it would last him a life time. There was such comfort in that thought.
I have only recently realized that Rob also filled me with love, enough frankly, to last my lifetime. It was that strength that I tapped into during these last two years. A strength born from the love we made between us. Knowing with certainty that I have loved and been loved centers me.
II.
Today love is more powerful than loss; more powerful than sorrow and doubt. Love finds expression and strength in the everyday acts that now comprise my life. Making dinner for my son. Taking a walk and listening to the birds chatter. Planting flowers. Finding joy in the spread of paint on a page. Writing daily. Working with children and teachers. Spending time with family and friends.
When sorrow comes and it will, when I am reminded of this loss, when I feel unbound and adrift, I want to remember that deep within is a well of love my husband gave to me every day for half of my life.
That well is overflowing.
YES...YES....YES
ReplyDeleteSaid beautifully. Created Beautifully.
When sorrow comes and it will, when I am reminded of this loss, when I feel unbound and adrift, I want to remember that deep within is a well of love my husband gave to me every day for half of my life.
That well is overflowing.
Bonnie
Thank goodness it is. Thanks Bonnie.
DeleteYour art is incredibly beautiful and deeply captures the love you feel. My heart ached with yours and your son's loss, but it sounds like you are both healing and beginning to feel the sun again in your lives. One can never know how a teenager might be feeling, but it sounds like your son has enough love from both you and your husband to help him thrive despite your loss. It is so nice to hear you are feeling more life than loss these days, too. This is a beautiful post; thank you for sharing your steps toward renewal.
ReplyDeleteEvery day is a challenge. Love helps.
DeleteThis is an eloquent capturing of how feel. Love is what sustains me and, "Knowing with certainty that I have loved and been loved centers me." Thank you. As always, thank you.
ReplyDeleteLove does sustain. I need to remember that today.
DeleteOne of my closest friends has lost two husbands. When the second one died, she told me that she was so lucky because she had been loved by two wonderful men. Yes, that kind of love lasts. Thanks for this beautiful reminder.
ReplyDeleteYour friend has such a positive outlook. Thank you Margaret for sharing that.
Delete"Knowing with certainty that I have loved and been loved centers me." Your words are true, Mary Ann. Sadly, there are many who have never known such love. Last Monday on a flight to LGA, I couldn't help but overhear a young man in front of me say to an older man sitting next to him that his greatest fear was he would live his whole life and never find real love. There was such a sadness in his words. We who have are indeed most blessed. Have a beautiful week!
ReplyDeleteThank Alice. Love is possible at all different times in our lives.
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